2018 Oscars Red Carpet: Best & Worst Dressed

Unimpressed. This perfectly sums up my 2018 Oscars Red Carpet feelings, almost to the point I’m thinking of making a 3 list: 1) best dressed, 2) okay ‘meh’ dressed , and 3) worst. But I’m not. I’m gonna stick to the good ol’ classic best and worst, and hope for the best, that is – my inner bitch to STFU so we can all proceed in a civilized manner.

So YES… I was not a big fan of 2018 Oscars red carpet, in fact I think some of the celebrities wore the better dress to the after party. Lupita Nyongo I’m looking at you. So between this unimpressed bored mood the 2018 oscars red carpet got me into… I’m also in awe at the awe of the entire internet about Nicole Kidman, and Lupita, and other big beautiful stars who actually, in my humble and appraently very off-key this year’s opinion, were not so show-stoppers. Some were okay, and some were actually horendous.

2018 Oscars red carpet felt like a bubble that burst too late or too quickly and left everyone (meaning me. go on, roll your eyes, I’m rolling mine at myself at this point) a bit unimpressed (for lack of better word). It’s as if you’re waiting for a sneeze all morning, and between this is it, and another missed sneeze-window… it finally happens 1,980 hours too late and it’s the lousiest piece of shitty sneeze ever. Yes, the 2018 Oscars red carpet were a sneeze.

Or… I could be the odd one out on this one. Maybe everyone did slay. I just need to wake up and smell the damn coffee.

2018 Oscars Red Carpet – Best Dressed

I am so signing my fashion death sentence with this one, but God help me if I loved Nicole Kidman’s Armani Prive dress. Y’all, I tried to love it, and actually did for a brief 7 seconds, but as much as I LOVE the colour, the design, the length (finally she got it right), how it looks against her complexion, love her makeup, hair, the whole damn circus – I can’t get pass that bloody front bow. Nicole, why didn’t you get the big one? I get it, it’s a couture number, it’s high fashion, she can wear it, who the hell am I… but it wasn’t wow for me. It was an ‘oh’ moment. Still qualified for best dressed, but I wouldn’t be *that* excited about it.

Allison Janey had one of the best red dresses ever, such a fab red carpet moment for her. Allison Williams looked incredibly stunning, as did Mary J. Blige, who I think was one of the best dressed. I LOVED Betty Gabriel’s green-turquoise dress, with that infinity plunging neckline. Perfect colour. Gal Gadot, Gina Rodriguez, who, although had one of those I-think-I’ve-seen-this-dress-before-kinda-dress on, did look beautiful. Greta Gerwing looked very pretty and simple. Maybe too so for the Oscars.

Helen Mirren and Jane Fonda shut down the Oscars. I mean… that’s how you fucking do it. Jane is 80 years old people. And she still nails it.

I loved Jennifer Garner in blue, and I liked the dress, but I think the hair was a bit overwhelming. No?

Margot Robbie was as stunning as always, I love this girl in white. But (there is always a but this year I swear) those off the shoulder straps looked like Christmas tinsel. Ah whatever. Meryl Street, Mira Sorvino, Molly Sims – all were beyond beautiful and very Oscars style, yet still effortless.

I loved Samara Weaving. I don’t know who she is, but I liked the dress.

I loved Sandra Bullock, Taraji P. Henson – who does a bit of JLO and Sofia Vergara: has found her red carpet style and sticks to it. Well, maybe the dress is a bit too busy.

Viola Davis – I LOVED her. It’s a little too candy sweet and 80s 18 year old, but something about this look I LOVE, and I don’t care if the world disagrees. If she only lost that clutch.

Zendaya – stunning! Zoey Deutch was so simple and graceful. Sofia Carson was fire!

And Saoirse Ronan... man I don’t know… I like the colour, and the dress, but I hate the upper part, I think it’s ill fitted and ruins the whole look. But it’s not an ugly dress. Maybe it photographed bad?

And Jennifer Lawrence… I cannot stand her. I mean I don’t vibe with her at all. She’s trying so hard all the time to look so carless, and free spirited, like she’s this hillbilly who’s such a misfit into the glam world, like she doesn’t give a fuck, hence she’s above it all – yes we get it JLAW… we get it. But I for one, just wanna say I ain’t falling for that crap. Be it real or not. What the fuck was up with that laughing at/with Emma Stone moment? Aaaaanywaaaay – her dress? It’s not bad, but I don’t vibe with it either. That line cut it had right at the thighs kinda ruined it. It wanted to be such a studio 54 moment, but somehow it felt like the dress wore her, instead of the other way around. Nonetheless it is a very sexy gorgeous dress.

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2018 Oscars red carpet – Worst dressed

Whoopi Goldberg – what in the name of the lord are you wearing? Having a dress party all by yourself? Anyway… another death sentence for me on this one, cause the whole internet was so in awe with this look – she looked like a lizard casually visiting the Oscars, for God’s sake!!! The fit of the dress, the colour, the print, those tats, the sunglasses, the hair pulled back – were all points in one direction: not good. I get it, it’s cool, cause she’s such a badass, but the dress is fucking ugly.

Lupita Nyongo has the world of fashion wrapped around her finger. Uh-huh, not me. I didn’t see what the hell was so great about that dress. That’s the thing about lame fabric – it can look so cheap and dated it’s a very dangerous look to go for if you’re not an 80s icon, a studio 54 goddess, Rihanna…

Emma Stone looked like she came from the office, snatched a pink ribbon from some curtain somewhere and said, I’m off to the Oscars. Good for you.

Emily Blunt on the other hand wanted it all. And so she wore it. Are you still in there Emily? Sorry I can’t tell if you’re swallowed yet but all that fabric?

Haley Bennett decided to glue some dog hair to her dress. And Salma Hayek well… how much time you got? Lord have mercy, there is not one great thing about this look, except her beautiful self, but we’re talking dresses, and her’s is absolutely horrendous, Gucci or no Gucci.