2016 Oscars RED CARPET: Best & Worst Dressed

My oh my! Never thought I’d live the day to see this: 1) Leonardo DiCaprio has finally won his first Oscar for his leading role in The Revenant. Amen to that, and let’s all sing Yay! Okay., and 2) Oscars 2016 probably had the best red carpet ever. That, or I’ve turned into a good fairy and lost my bitchy shtick. Nobody wants a good fairy, right?

Of course if Leo hadn’t won that would’ve been massively awkward with all the online and PR Oscar-meets-Leo-in-2016-push-move-down-our-throughts. Yes, I just said that, but hear me out. I LOVE love love love Mr. Leonardo DiCaprio. His my #2 right after my imaginary husband Benicio Del Toro. All his films were fantastic and his performances absolutely incredible, and I would’ve given him an Oscar almost to all or any of his past performances… but The Revenant, while he was as amazing as only he could be on screen… I did feel Eddie Redmayne did a much better job this year, and Leo an even better one in the past. BUT it was high time he got that golden man statue so… there you go. It was his year.

I was happily surprised that Spotlight won the Oscar for best picture, since I felt it was the kinda film that is always overlooked. So over the top happy for Brie Larson‘s Oscar and Alicia Vikander for The Danish Girl. She is my fave one right one, my girl crush, my actress crush, my-new-It-girl-prediction.

And yes, the red carpet was so good, so classy but modern, it gave us so many great surprises and so many wow moments, that while looking through the pics I was scared I’d have no one to put on the worst dressed list. Well… hang out with me here a little longer and you’ll see. Of course I might be wrong and it might all be the worst red carpet yet, as I was so made aware of this by one of my friends just this morning when I posted a pic of Alicia Vikander on Facebook wow-ing over her dress. To which my friend said: ‘are you fucking serious about that dress?’ And then I went on and on, and on, about my love for Alicia and her pale yello dress and about the whole red carpet, which I love this year.

‘Yeah… I think we’ve watched different shows, it was horrible’, my friend said. ‘What the hell was up with all those dresses: horrible cuts, designs and Alicia’s looked like a fucking duvet. Who wears a yellow duvet folded at the hem like it’s Sunday morning in bed?’ 

Oooooookay.

Best Dressed – 2016 Oscars Red Carpet 

My top 3 were my girl crush Alicia Vikander in that absolutely stunning pale yellow shorter in the front princess gown. Loved the colour on her skin, loved the bare shoulders, and the overall look. She’s so effortlessly beautiful, feminine, petite, and relaxed that I adore her. Her dress was kinda Oscar risqué but she pulled it off. Charlize Theron. Shut the front door. The woman is a statue of elegance and beauty, and that’s all I have to say. Stunning. That long endless plunging neckline and soft red fabric was so old Hollywood glam mixed with a bit of modern fash. Perfection. Priyanka Chopra was just perfect for me, as I love a classic mermaid and I’m obsessed with sparkiling white and strapless on the red carpet. It looked simple but glamorous.

Saorise Ronan was wow! What a great surprise! That green Calvin Klein dress was so different from everything she’s gotten us used to, but so sexy, young, glamorous. I loved the cut, the simple design, the sparking green. What I did not like was the earrings. They were just wrong. I would’ve gone for a loooong thin necklace instead. But the dress, amazing!

Olivia Munn, OMG! Absolutely beautiful. Risqué colour for the Oscars’ red carpet, but she pulled it off. A very beautiful simple dress with a twist of retro somehow due to the hair and the upper part. Loved it. Naomi Watts is the queen of red carpet. I can’t remember a time I hated her gown. Never. She’s always doing Old Hollywood mixed with modern, always classic cut dresses. Loved the colour, the lips, the hair, the sequins. Something about her is always so glamorous and classic but also very effortless. LOVE. Olivia Wilde… I liked it. It’s Greek Goddess meets sexy actress. But again I’m a fan of white gowns on the red carpet.

Brie Larson. What do we think of Brie Larson? It’s not bad, okay, there’s something very appealing and beautiful about that dress (how it moves, the royal blue, how she wears it), but I would’ve picked something more classic and glamorous for her. It’s not bad though.

Oscar has a wife, did you know that? And her name is Margot Robbie. Joke aside, I LOVED that golden dress. Perfect fit, perfect look, with her hair, and very old classic glamour. This dress-style is probably my fave way of doing sequins: long sleeves and deep plunging neckline are the best in a red carpet sequin gown.

Rooney Mara. FUCK. THIS is absolutely stunning. High fashion, check. Red carpet perfection, check. Beauty, check. Elegance, check. She’s sometimes too high fashion for red carpets but this is stunning, the lace, the see-through, the cuts, the design… it’s insane.

Chrissy Teigen absolutely beautiful. Starting to be obsessed with long sleeves on the red carpet. Julianne Moore, YES, thank God she nailed it. Also, I’m so happy she went for black, and no sequins this time, cause I felt she always did the same dress (sequin, green’ish) over the years and sometimes she nailed it and sometimes it was a total miss. Great look this time.

Cate Blanchet… okay, what do we think? Truth is I like this more than I hate it. I hate the colour but I love it on her, and I love the cut of the dress. Classic. What I’m not too crazy about are those fucking flowers splattered all over, BUT they’re not really killing the dress. So, while it’s not a WOW moment it’s still very beautiful and ethereal.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Rachel McAdams in that simple emerald green dress. I LOVED it, although it is maybe too simple, and a bit wrinkled in front cause of the delicate fabric, but I adored it, and also really liked the fact that she went blonder a bit, and did a very minimal look. And the slit… shut the front door.

Jennifer Lawrence… not too bad. Loved the fact the she did something different and went a bit dramatic. She had a lot going on with that dress, but she pulled it off however.

Zuri Hall was so pretty and so hot. That’s a modern classic red carpet look and I love it. Perfect hair.

Sofia Vergara… I’m not really sure, and I also feel as if she wasn’t feeling her dress either. It’s not bad, just not her, BUT I’m happy it’s not a strapless mermaid gown and the hair is beautifully different. So, kudos for that. Jennifer Garner... well she looked fab in some photos and meh in others, but the look is very classic red carpet, and I love the fact that she kept her bling to a minimum and let the dress do the talk. Very elegant.

Tina Fey, great dress, hated the hair and that necklace ruined it all. Anne Marie Carpendale had a very beautiful dress on, very red carpet appropriate. I liked it. Maria Menuous was okay, but boring. Not bad at all. I’m just not a fan of those shoulder gown styles. Liza Hernandez was not bad at all. I think she’s so beautiful and she really pulled off that statement dress, which is not my fave dress, but she somehow made it work. Loved the simple hair and makeup. Stephanie Bauer... that green dress is mermaid envy. She looked hot and very elegant. And I am kinda feeling this minimal jewellery look.

And last but not least – Dorith Mous. Ladies and gents I think this is drama and beauty collided into a fabulous fashion gown. Y’all probably gonna think I lost it but I think it’s beyond. It’s absolutely beautiful. High fashion editorial beautiful. A bit like Gaga’s look as well.

Worst Dressed – 2016 Oscars Red Carpet

I’ve never been so undecided about the worst as this year. Well not all, cause some gowns were a total miss, but there were some dresses or looks that were not good, but really not bad either, and I’ve already gave a few ladies a pass in the above (hello Maria Menuous, or Jennifer Garner, or Tina Fey), so this feels a bit unfair, but what the hell. They were boring, that’s all. I’m looking at you Mindy Calling. You are my girl crush, you’re always so fashion crazy, and then you come and wear this? It’s so meh… not really bad, but I wanted more. I guess I’m just disappointed.

Woopi Goldberg‘s dress I liked, then I did not, then I liked, and then she ruined it all for me with those jewellery. What I do like is the gown & tats mix. Perfect.

Sophie Turner fell in puke or chlorine, and had no time to adjust. The dress looks nice, like a very nice pyjama. Her hair is perfect and her necklace too. But she’s in a bedroom gown, so… that ship has sailed. Oh, and that upper part cut what the fuck is that? It looks so old and dated my great grandma would’ve skipped it too.

Patricia Arquette… man I don’t know. I like the colour and the dress itself, but she’s just not right in it. I’d love to see her styled differently, cause she’s so beautiful and has got a certain edge and twist to her that I think it’s all bad styling here. That’s all.

Uhm... Heidi Klum. Go home. It’s night-gown alert again. She is really trying too hard lately, and she’s dipping too much into birds’ world for inspo. She looks swan’ish gone wrong here, and wasn’t she chicken on the loose at some other red carpet event not too long ago? I mean, just a thought here: human world inspo? Maybe? Next time girl.

Jennifer Jason Leigh… booooooring, dated, old, wrinkled. A bit of tuck here and there, lose the flowers, the peplum, the intricate stupid details and it would’ve worked. Yes, a new dress might have helped.

Isla Fisher. Nooooo. I am crying right now. Are you going hill climbing, picking flowers in a basket circa 1915? No? Then what the hell are you doing wearing that pretty old dress?

Did you know Xena the warrior princess was at the Oscars this year? No? Oh, it wasn’t her. Ohhhh… that was Kerry Washington? Hmm, are you sure? I mean with the hair, and the leather bodice or whatever, and that high slit on that long *again* night gown dress I thought Xena just cleaned up a bit for the Oscars. Well… my bad.

Reese Witherspoon. Awwww, aren’t you the pretty Southern peach. That is soooo sweet girl. If you’re going to the prom!!!!!! Don’t get me wrong, she’s beautiful and pretty, but she’s always in these prom’ish dresses. I’m over it.

Emily Blunt, noooooooo! Whyyyy? It’s so bleah. I could’ve made that dress. Just sew two bra straps on a night gown (AGAIN) and ta-daaa.

Amy Poehler, oooookay!? Jesus Christ what the fuck is that? Dolce and Gabbana gone wrong that’s what it is. Or maybe she was just trying to be funny.

Kate Winslet what in the name of God and Mary and Jesus Christ is that? It is the ugliest dress wanting to be pretty ever. Okay you supported Leo, and it was all about you two for the past month, but is that all you could do?

So there you go… we’ve had a few worsts after all.

Now it’s your turn.

Let’s burn the comments.

xoxo