The PATCHWORK Trend, OR How To Be A Beautiful Mess?

When it comes to being a mess, not to brag or anything but let’s just say I’m what you call The Queen of the Castle. Sure, a castle of total chaos, where I eat too much, I’m always late, swear too much, drink too much, laugh too loud, get too feisty, but I’m still the queen. Hey, we’re not all perfect you know. But I’m kind. And real. And funny. This, I’ve been told. Also an idiot sometimes.

Knowing I’m the biggest idiot of them all comes in handy at times such as these. Cause you see, according to the moody bitch we call Fashion, there’s a new fad in town this fall and it’s exactly right down my street. The Messy one. Theoretically.

The PATCHWORK trend ladies and gets. It’s all the prints and patterns of the world gathered into one big mess right onto your coat, pants, jeans, bag, top and whatnot. It’s 70s meets 90s meets hobo (sans the chic sometimes). Unlike my messy castle, this messy trend is actually beautiful. Or so they say.

Okay… imma be real with you. I’ve been sitting on this 2015 autumn trend for a while and I still have no clue whatsoever regarding my love or hate for it. Which is a first for me. Like I’m so opinionated all the time it’s freaking exhausting.

Enough about me though. So… it’s probably the first time in a long time that a sartorial thing is leaving me emotionless. (see how I stopped ranting about myself? #not ugh I’m hopeless at this point people). I got nothing. And that’s the worst part you know. No love. No hate.

Street stylers are doing the denim patchwork like crazy these days, and the patchwork fur coats will be massive this winter. So will patchwork sweaters and coats of all sorts, making us channel those 70s and 80s boho-grunge-rockstars-who-sometimes-live-in-the-woods. That’s the vibe I’m getting anyway.

And I got nothing.

How to wear PATCHWORK? 

The way I see it we’ve got 2 options. We either do the uber-high-fashion-sophisticated hot mess patchwork in funky patchwork jeans paired with patchwork jackets, or sweaters, or long coats, chunky shoes and wild hair. Think rockstar street style, slightly over the top, with a touch of bloggers at fashion week doing funky trends and pulling it off big time.

Sounds good, right? I know. I’ll pass though. Contrary to what one might expect from a mess such as myself, doing a hot mess look would only make me look more demented rather than messy-and-sophisticated. ‘Anybody call a clown?’ would be my greeting question. ‘No, thank you’ would most likely be the answer. I wouldn’t hire me, and I love fashion, and don’t have a problem with clowns. So… you see my point?

But listen, the people who pull this off, standing ovation. Truth is, it takes a certain kinda of coolness and madness in a good way to wear this.

For those idiots like myself, being a mess is enough of a mess in itself, so THIS trend may appeal if slightly toned down. Think patchwork long coat. THIS is something I’d be on the hunt for. Like those 70s rock chicks in all-black dresses with thigh high boots and a loooooong like Mondays patchwork coat on top. Shut the front door.

Patchwork fur coats sound great as well, as a statement piece. A patchwork skirt in suede par example is one helluva 70s look with boots and a tucked in turtleneck sweater. Perhaps too retro, but it would look fab.

So it is possible to do the patchwork look without looking like you’re all patched up you know. Unless of course we want to look patched up. Nothing wrong with that either.

In case this whole mess is beautiful to you too, here are some patchwork pieces to add to your wardrobe.

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You know, the way I am it’s probably gonna take until next month when you see me looking like a patched up mess is head-to-toe patchwork clothes. Oh, boy. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s to never trust my never’s and always have a back up plan.

In this case, it’s the street style inspo which may come in handy.

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Still though, when something leaves me colder than the ice cubes in my Jack I know it’s time to say pass, and stick with the Jack aka the mess, of which I’m queen.

Might change my mind, who the hell knows anymore.

Okay I’m outta here. It’s your turn now, in the comments below to tell me what you feel about life, idiots, Broad City, working on a hangover, dreams bigger than our pockets, online stalking, a red versus white wine, oh… and patchwork. You can tell me about patchwork too.

Okay bye.

xoxo