How the ugliest and most unflattering jeans in the history of mankind have crawled back into fashion in the midst of 2014 beats the hell out of me. Unless we’re Cindy Crawford, Linda Evanghelista and the rest of those 80’s & 90’s supermodels, we’re pretty much fucked by this trend, which is lasting for a little over a year now. The mom jeans do nothing for us: the high waist is waaaay to high (it might as well cover our boobs), the pyramid cut of these pants is ridiculous (unless you want to channel your fashion icon Jerry Seinfeld), the fit is terrible (not tight enough for skinny jeans, not loose enough for boyfriend styles), and don’t even get me started on the bloody crotch. For real now?!
They’re the in-between jeans. The ugliest mother fuckers out there, which, alongside their siblings – the Birkenstocks – have started the infamous fashion trend called normcore. Yeah they were cool in the 90s, but I like to think the reason for it was the lack of options, right? And besides, not even back then were they doing any justice to anyone. Except flawless supermodels. Nevertheless… their fan base skyrocketed this past year, and everyone who’s anyone in fashion, any mortal on the face of the earth with a penchant for all sartorial things was found wearing mom jeans, and thus flipping the bird on all those too-sexy skinnies and leggings and in-your-face-body-enhancing-clothes.
Amen to that.
Why I ended up LOVING the mom jeans trend? No, no. There was no typo there, you read that right. After prolonged consideration (1 year) I am now considering giving these jeans a try. I will go out with them. Wine and dine and all that shit. Of course all is pure theory so far, as I have yet to buy a pair. So, why do I love them now?
- They’re incredibly comfortable. Their ugliness is the best thing about them, cause no matter what pair you choose, you know it’s gonna look meh, but you know that’s not the point. Or better yet, THAT is the very point. We’re not after sexy here, so grabbing a pair off the rack, without even trying it on is the best thing about these jeans. Fit and hotness is not what we’re after.
- They are the definition of French-chic. YASSSS! I mean OUI. Now how many French chic girls have you seen wearing incredibly mainstream clothes (skinny jeans I’m looking at you)? Exactly. Okay… maybe a few, but more often than not these women seem to not give a damn about what they wear in terms of trend consciousnesses hence managing to pull off the ultimate chic and effortless looks. Think mom jeans + white shirt. Sometimes red lips. Sometimes heels, and sometimes flats.
- They’re more than just some… jeans. Maybe some of us have just had it with oversexed up looks & incredibly dolled up styles. Maybe we’re sick of cuts and designs that only show how big, perked up, small, curvy, wiggly or jiggly our bums are. How skinny our legs look. Are they up to our armpits? Do I look like a supermodel in them? Perhaps women just grew tired of all this bullshit, so instead we now choose clothes for the sake of clothes, fun and us. Us being us, not pigeonholed to some TV image par example. The moment you stop worrying about how hot you look in a pair of jeans is the moment you’ll look hotter than ever. Even in a pair of mom jeans.
Or especially in a pair of mom jeans. They do take a certain kind of coolness, effortlessness and je m’en fiche attitude to be rocked, which will translate into French chicness and incredible personal style. Of course I am as guilty here as the next girl wanting to look her best in any jeans. And talking is what I do best. Practice… now that’s something I should… practice. I’m just afraid that for me the mom jeans will end up like my oxford shoes. Great in theory, just not in practice. The moment I’m wearing my oxford shoes out, I instantly regret it and just wish the earth would split in two and swallow me up in my ugly shoes. Which, let me tell you, are far from ugly, but I’m just not feeling them.
I sure do hope mom jeans will have a different destiny in my case, and up my French-chic game. I am ready for all those side giggles, and raised eyebrows, and a minute too long stares from gals and boys without any fashion clue whatsoever. Like my brother for instance and some of his friends (no pun intended here boys), who have professed their hate for high waisted pants more often than not. Ha! Wait till you see the mom jeans boys.
But whatever. That’s the very essence of the mom jeans: to hell with overly-sexy-glam-body-conscious-clothes, and everyone who thinks all women should wear them. As long as boys wear those ‘Sharon-get-in-the-car-pants’ (khaki shorts) I’m sticking with my mom jeans story. :)