This little annoying voice in my head keeps telling me: ‘‘Hey missy, ain’t you a little late on this event right here?” To which I reply with my motto these days: bitch please. Ef you. Having to deal with all the drama to which I am naturally prone to, and the pile of errands and meetings to attend these days, has inevitably led to this sad event of me not covering the Grammys sooner.
BUT, good things do come to those who wait. I don’t believe that shit, but it does fit the situation.
2015 Grammys were the best event so far, not necessarily due to the red carpet looks (which were actually pretty on point and more on the best dressed rather than not), but mainly because of everything else that happened. KANYE!!!! Just. Go home already.
His walking-on-the-stage-joke-shit was just that, pure shit, and I actually think his constant rants and neurotic behaviour, self absorbed persona, and God complex are only doing his talents un-service. So… what the fuck do you want Kanye? Who died and made you Beyonce’s defendant? Ahh… just go home man. Loosen the fuck up and leave the building.
Back to more important matters now: the red carpet at the Grammys, and the belle of the ball. RIHANNA in that Giambattista Valli pink Disney princess dress. Shut the front door.
Okay, actually at first sight I was like: uh-oh, Riri screwed it up this time, but then in less than 5 minutes the dress grew on me. Very much like her song with Paul McCartney and what’s his name. Now I can’t stop listening to it, much like I can’t stop uhhing and ahhing over that pink dress. The make-up was stunning, the hair was whispy-bun-amazing… The best by far.
And she kept it the best with her exactly-the-opposite-look from her performance: androgynous suit, sleeked back hair… swag and all of that shit! Perfect.
2015 Grammys Red Carpet – BEST DRESSED
Did I say Rihanna killed it? She did show up last on the red carpet, but she made a statement aright. That’s how you do it y’all.
Most of the other gals were great, BUT I’m still gonna be a bitch about some details. The bloody BOOOOOOOOBS cleavages. What the fuck is up with that? Yes, nice round perky big ‘girls’ are fucking amazing, but there’s also a thin line to looking vulgar, and ruining a very nice red carpet gown.
Like Nicky Minaj... she looked amazing. Natural makeup (the beauty red carpet trend this year!), sleeked back hair, beautiful mermaid-style-black-sequinned dress with a plunging neckline so deep you basically saw her vajajay. Well… actually no, cause those double D’s distracted from wherever else you might be going. She was best dressed, STILL the pressing and the lifting of boobs right to your chin is so… 2000s and so cheap. Get it together Nicky.
If I had girls like that (that’s a big IF) I’d do the 70s look like crazy: you know… loose, au naturelle. Just saying.
Kim Kardashain everyone. Aside from the fact that she’s freaking everywhere these days, gotta give it to her: stunning. Maybe, just maybe a bit too much: slit, boob-land alert, heavy-nude-makeup, glitter, sequins and what not, but she did look beautiful. Sure, a bit like the golden globe statue, but she is all about the glam and glitter. I actually loved the dress (I mean the super glamorous bath robe), what I don’t like is her so pretentious self these days for being attached to the self proclaimed God of everything. Whatever.
Still in the cleavage county, I thought Lady Gaga looked very very nice. Decent, you know. No more crazes and fads, just her own self, in a very simple yet dazzling dress, with a cleavage so deep you didn’t know where she was going, draped in diamonds and safires. Yes. I actually did like her dress. Simple cut, glam fabric. Except the pressed breasts. Is this a new thing nowadays or what?
Jessie J looked very nice as well, in that black-sequined-lace-sheer-cap-sleeved dress. Although I did think those T-shirt sleeves and blunt haircut were a bit too harsh. Maybe that’s just me. Beyonce was alright. I mean, she rarely is a red carpet good statement, so I wasn’t good-or-bad-surprised over her look at all. Loved the long locks, the mermaid Morticia sexy gown. Good, but I wasn’t blown away. You are Beyonce for God’s sake. Is this all you can come up with? With all the mills and bills in your pockets and the world’s best stylists dying to work with you?
Miley Cyrus kept is very very simple and I loved her look. Almost casual and effortless in a very red-carpet-sort-of-way. Chrissy Teigen of course looked stunning, although she could have tried something other than a white dress. That’s all she does lately. Chrissy dear… you were a bride. We get it, you really really really enjoyed it. Now can we move on please?
I thought Sia made her great statement again. Although that too is like barking at the same door since forever. But I love her, so…
Jennifer Hudson and Nicole Kidman looked okay, for a very proper sexy-mom-pta-meeting. Do not hate people, that’s just what I thought. They looked beautiful, (hence the good dressed list) but deep down inside I cannot shake the ‘meh‘ feeling.
Also Iggy Azealia. Iggy!!!!!!!!!!! Why the fucking cookoo’s nest on your head? That just ruined it for me. But I loved her natural makeup and simple cobalt blue dress.
Katy Perry looked beautiful. Sure, she looked like a chandelier, but… a beautiful one.
And some more looks/gowns I liked.
2015 Grammys Red Carpet – WORST DRESSED
I mean who the hell didn’t do their job properly and let Madonna out on the loose? She too has a case of Kanye or whatever, so Madge… if all you’ve got up your ass and sleeve is just cheap shocking tricks… please just go home. And while you’re out the door, take Kanye with you.
Did she know this was not a Halloween party, or was she going to one, but instead chose to crash the Grammys? And what the fuck was she wearing around her butt? And why the need to show the world? Girlfriend… not even being fucking Madonna is an excuse for… THIS. seriously.
Ciara showed up in what looked like the after-fight with a dark black wasp nest, which she wrapped, and cinged around her as if to show the whole world ‘this bitch won the fucking fight’. Makeup and hair, the best at the Grammys, but that dress. I get it, it’s couture, but… you look like a runaway black widow bride in some alien wasp nest attire. Ciara… paaaalease.
Ariana Grande was… … I’m still thinking… … prom queen, meets wanna fashionista, meets chaos, meets wtf. The dress was basically fine, but that silver handkerchief patched around her boob, as if she just decided to cover up her left nipple before leaving home… was just wrong. And that hair… I get it, why fix it if it ain’t broken, but she’s so stuck on that hairstyle, that it feels as if she was born with it. Girl you are what, 14? (I know she’s older… ) Have some fun with fashion.
Taylor Swift y’all. By now my ”love” for the girl who’s done me no wrong is quite notorious, hence her landing on my worst list. Actually I hated that dress. What you trying to be: Stepanie Seymor in Guns’n’Roses November Rain video? It ain’t working. And those shoes… I’m not even gonna go there. Hate it.
Paris Hilton just escaped her 2000’s prom night and decided to show up here. Moving on. Rita Ora looked stunning from the neck up, but that dress just swallowed her up into all the sequins and the glitter of the world. Sorry Rita.
And Gwen Stefani… WHY????? She looked stunning, her face, her hair, her lips, her eyes, even the upper part of that outfit, but the lower part… horrible. Or maybe it’s just me, but I did not like that jumpsuit, nor how the pants fit her. Looked like she left home in her pj pants.
My heart breaks a little now, but Giuliana Rancinc… *insert like 100 sad emojis here* why did you wear that jumpsuit? No. No. No. I didn’t like it one bit.
The rest of the lot:
Oh… and those 3 divas or whatever… Kendall, Khloe and Kylie... okay people, truth is they look drop dead gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, but don’t you feel like it’s TOO much. I mean, Kendall’s look is fantastic, Khloe is HOT and she is my favourite, but that little brat… Kylie, you are what, 16?!?!?!?! Plastic alert anyone. I’m talking your lips here. I mean seriously, we were not all born yesterday. And the uber sexy(ual) pose… oooooookay. She’s drop dead HOT but it’s just too much for a teen. Other than that… I guess they literally roll with ‘if you got it flaunt it.’ If not, you can always get it and then flaunt it.
Anyway… that’s a wrap. Until the Oscars lovelies!
P.S. Now it’s your turn to share your faves and least faves. xoxo