Uhm… sans looking like a professional ‘Pretty Woman’ who’s stuck in the 80s in latex and way too fitted mini dresses on an incredibly hot body nonetheless, with a beautiful head the size of a IRL barbie doll – perm curls, pink lipstick, blue eyeshadow et all. Three things the 80s bombshell borderline call-girl always seemed to have on: a lot of sass, a lot of hairspray, and a pair of thigh high boots.
Fast forward a few decades and 2 things continue to reign the trendy sartorial world: sass, which is replaced by swag, so tomato tomato there, AND thigh-high-boots, the latter being still the hottest shoes in history, with the most epic superpower of them all – they can wowza any outfit in a millisecond, dressing up the most boring piece of shit you have on. On one condition: that you dare to wear them.
Aaaah but you see the plot thickens right there. Pulling these suckers on, all the way up to your crotch if you’re a brave fashionista ain’t enough. You gotta take these borderline vulgar, BDSM, way, way, way, way, way too hot (as Drake would say) booties and make them stylish. Daytime stylish. Office stylish. date-night stylish. Dinner stylish. Casual sophisticated stylish.
How the fuck are we supposed to wear prostitute high heeled boots, all the way up to our vajajay, pair them with a skirt or a dress and NOT look like a professional booty caller?
Three things my wonderful lot: style, style, style. Did I say style?
Joke aside, here are a few 9 tips to make the hot booties work with skirts and dresses in a very sophisticated, cool, even professional sort of way.
1. Never EVER wear platform thigh high boots.
EVER. IN. YOUR LIFE.
2. Quality first and foremost.
Pick thigh high boots that look expensive, are comfortable and fit well. It’s a statement piece, a rare fashion investment, so do it wisely.
3. Mix and match textures.
4. Peek-a-boo gimmick.
Show just a tiny little amount of skin leg in either a pencil dress or skirt with a slit, or when pairing the THB with a mini dress or mini skirt, make sure their hems meet pretty close. To avoid the Pretty Woman channeling.
5. For office pair THB with a pencil skirt or dress, either with a tiny slit or not.
The effect has to be that of dress over leather pants or leather tights with heels. No skin in sight. It’s a very fashion editorial meets street couture sophisticated office outfit.
6. For evening/dinner/fancy-schmancy encounter wear leather THB in black, with a black silk slip on dress, knee-length, high slit, lace hems, bare back, and add a fur coat over.
Plus the inherent bling, which can be over-the-top opulent or just dainty, whatever floats your boat. It’s a dramatic incredibly sexy very tasteful outfit.
7. Casual daytime-to-evening look.
8. Clash styles & textures.
THB by definition are statement, over-the-top, kinda posh item, so it’s very easy to balance this effect by pairing them with something basic, simple, cozy, like a knee-length jersey dress par example, like a short A-line skirt with a 70s turtleneck, a vintage denim or suede dress… anything that’s not too in your face will work with THB.
9. Avoid too fitted clothes
And instead opt for layers, oversized, or play with fitted versus oversized pieces.
MORE INSPO here:
As much as I bitch around here with THB being borderline BDSM or too vulgar, I’m on the YES side of these little suckers, and would wear them from morning to evening, with skirts, dresses, shorts, jeans, and what not. From over the knee high to crotch high, I would not take a step back from walking in these shoes. What’s stopping me, you might wonder? Not having found a pair that’s long/high enough that’s all, OR, when I did they had the stripper platform (over my dead body), or looked cheap.
I did however spend the morning making all sorts of wishlists and THB are in there, so of course I got my picks for you below. Some of them a bit pricey, but I’m seriously considering splurging on these.
‘Pretty woman walking down the street, pretty woman the kind I’d like to meet.’ Whatever… We don’t do pretty around here. We do bold, we do hot, we do funny, we do smart. Sassy… Cool. We know too many tricks and too many things to be just pretty girls in THB.